Digital memorials in the Netherlands
A digital memorial is a page on the internet that holds a name, dates, photos, and the words people leave. In the Netherlands the format has become common enough that most large funeral providers offer one as part of their service. Yet very little is said about what happens to these pages five, ten, or twenty years after the death — when the family stops paying, when the provider changes platform, when the children of the deceased have grown old themselves. This article looks at the four main types of digital memorial used in the Netherlands, what each one costs, and the question almost no one asks at the start: how long does it last.
Type 1: provider memorial page (gedenkpagina)
A gedenkpagina (memorial page) created by the funeral provider as part of arranging the funeral. Examples: DELA's "Delen" memorial page (Yarden has been part of DELA since 2021), Memori, a free memorial platform that funeral directors can set up, and similar pages from regional uitvaartondernemingen.
Typical features: name, dates, a portrait, a short biography, photo album, condolence book where visitors leave messages, sometimes video and audio, sometimes a calendar of memorial dates.
Cost and lifespan differ by provider. At the time of writing, a DELA "Delen" page costs a one-off €25 and is meant for the period around the funeral; its contents can be turned into a printed memory book. A Memori page is free and stays online as long as the family wishes. Check the current terms before you choose.
Strength: easy to set up at the moment of the funeral, when many visitors are already in contact with the provider. Visitors don't need an account to leave a message.
Weakness: the page lives inside the provider's platform. If the provider changes systems or merges with another company, the page may move, change shape, or disappear. Ask how you can keep a copy of the content (for example a printed book or an album).
Type 2: Mensenlinq announcement archive
Mensenlinq (death announcement service) is the Dutch national platform for rouwadvertenties (mourning announcements), published in print and online by most regional newspapers. An announcement on Mensenlinq doubles as a small, durable memorial: it stays in the archive after the funeral and can be searched by name and date.
Typical features: text of the announcement, name, dates, photo (in many cases), an online condolence register, and a record of the announcement in the searchable archive, which goes back to 2006.
Cost: a Mensenlinq condolence page costs about €19 (standard) or €45 (extended), or is included when the funeral director places it. A printed announcement in a newspaper is a separate cost that depends on the paper and the size; ask for a quote. The online page has no end date and no annual fee.
Strength: long-running platform tied to the Dutch press, with stable archival behaviour over many years. The announcement remains findable for a long time, which matters for genealogy and for distant family.
Weakness: it is an announcement, not a full memorial. The page is typically not extended with new content over the years.
Type 3: Facebook (or Instagram) memorial account
When someone dies, a Facebook profile can be converted into a herdenkingsprofiel (memorial account). Friends and family can still see the wall, post messages, and view photos, but the account is frozen: no one logs in as the person, and the algorithm stops suggesting them as a friend. A trusted "legacy contact" set up in advance can manage some elements of the account.
Typical features: existing photos and posts of the person, ongoing condolence and birthday messages from friends, a clearly marked memorial status.
Cost: free.
Strength: it is where many people's social life already lived. For people who spent years on the platform, the memorial account preserves the texture of their everyday writing.
Weakness: the account exists at the will of the platform. Facebook can change its policy, the format, or the company itself. A 2019 projection from the Oxford Internet Institute (Öhman & Watson) estimated that the number of deceased-user accounts on Facebook could exceed 1.4 billion by 2100. There is no guarantee of long-term archival quality, and content cannot be exported in full by the family.
Type 4: dedicated paid memorial services
A small group of independent providers offer a memorial page as their main product, separate from any funeral provider. Most are international services (such as Forever Missed), and their long-term availability for Dutch families varies.
Typical features: more storage for video, audio and documents than a provider page, more customisation, sometimes an option for private (invitation-only) access, occasionally a "perpetual" plan paid as a single sum upfront.
Cost: usually a yearly fee or a one-time payment for a "lifetime" plan; Forever Missed, for example, lists a lifetime plan at $154.99. Prices change, so check the provider's current plans.
Strength: independence from the funeral provider; richer features; fewer constraints on length and format of the content.
Weakness: independence is a double-edged sword. Small dedicated services depend on the company surviving as a business. Several international memorial-page providers have closed in the past decade, and content was sometimes returned only after public pressure.
What happens when the family stops paying
The single most important question about a digital memorial is the one the platform doesn't ask at sign-up: what happens after the last invoice goes unpaid?
The pattern across most Dutch and international platforms looks like this:
- A reminder. One or more notifications, usually by email to the address on file. If that address belonged to the person who died, the message may never be read.
- A grace period. The page often stays online for several months without payment, sometimes with a notice that it is at risk.
- Suspension or deletion. The content is removed. In most cases the family is not given an export at this stage; in some cases the provider keeps a backup for a while and restores the page if a new payer steps in.
Three things to do at the start that change this picture:
- Name a successor payer. Add the credit card or direct debit of someone who is likely to outlive the page — often a child or a grandchild, with their consent.
- Export the content periodically. Save photos, condolence messages and biography to a separate, family-controlled folder. The page can disappear; the file does not have to.
- Decide on a lifespan in advance. Some families choose to keep the page online for a defined period (one year, five years, the lifetime of the spouse) and then close it intentionally, with a final note. A planned ending is different from a silent disappearance.
The longevity question
A printed grave marker in granite can last a hundred years. A digital memorial, by current technology and current business models, is unlikely to last that long. Most providers will be different companies, on different platforms, on different parts of the internet, in 30 years.
This is not an argument against digital memorials. They do something a stone cannot: hold voice, video, the writing of friends, and the act of returning. But they are best treated as the equivalent of the wake or the condolence book, not the equivalent of the grave. Choose them for the years when they are most needed, plan for what happens after, and treat the permanent record as a separate task — printed photo books, family archives, the files saved off-platform.
In the app
In the Money & Accounts module you list your online accounts at your own pace, including social media, and note what should happen to each (for example, memorialise or delete). In My Farewell Wishes you can note any wishes for a memorial. Everything becomes part of your Zorgmap, a private PDF you print or hand over to the person you trust; your family cannot open the app itself.
Closed beta — access by invitation.
Sources
- DELA — "Delen" memorial page (one-off €25, optional printed memory book). https://www.dela.nl/
- Memori — free online memorial platform. https://www.memori.nl/
- Mensenlinq — Dutch national platform for death announcements and online condolence registers. https://www.mensenlinq.nl/
- Forever Missed — plans and prices. https://forevermissed.com/ourplans
- Öhman, C. J., & Watson, D. (2019). "Are the dead taking over Facebook?" Big Data & Society.